Confessions of a Soap Lady: The Day Someone Ate the Merchandise
People imagine selling at craft fairs is all sunshine, friendly conversations, and the occasional compliment about how nice everything smells.
Allow me to introduce Exhibit A.
A teenage boy.
Surrounded by his equally teenage friends.
You already know where this is going.
He picked up a bar of soap.
Looked directly at his buddies.
And took a bite out of it.
Not because he thought it was food.
Not because he was curious.
No.
For the entertainment value.
There was a brief moment where my brain simply refused to process what my eyes had just witnessed.
Then my internal monologue kicked in.
"Oh no you didn't."
I was halfway around the table before common sense reminded me that strangling a teenager over a bar of soap would probably hurt sales.
His chaperone?
Nothing.
Not a word.
Didn't apologize.
Didn't offer to pay for the soap.
Didn't even look mildly embarrassed.
Meanwhile, I'm standing there holding a soggy, tooth-marked bar of handmade soap wondering if this is the sort of thing they covered in teacher orientation.
To this day, I still wonder what the conversation was on the ride home.
"How was the craft fair?"
"Pretty good. Tyler tasted the soap."
The good news?
That remains the only bar of soap I've ever had returned with bite marks.
So if you're wondering whether my soap is edible...
The answer is still no.
Someone tested that theory so you don't have to.
But here's the funny thing.
People ask me all the time if I miss doing craft fairs.
Honestly?
I don't miss loading my car in the rain.
I don't miss setting up tents before sunrise.
And I definitely don't miss replacing bars with teenage bite marks.
What I do miss are the conversations.
After twenty five+ years of selling soap, I realized something.
People almost never stopped because they needed soap.
They stopped because they had a question.
Or a problem.
Or they were frustrated.
Or embarrassed.
Sometimes they wanted to know why their hands cracked every winter.
Sometimes they wanted to know if goat milk soap might help. Those conversations are actually what inspired many of my Soap Chats about dry skin and why goat milk soap can be such a gentle choice for sensitive skin.
Sometimes they wanted to quietly ask about something they'd never asked anyone else because they were too embarrassed.
And yes...sometimes they'd tell me about rashes, itchy bits, mysterious skin problems, or a UTI while the next customer patiently sniffed lavender soap pretending they couldn't hear a word.
I've learned that when you stand behind a soap booth long enough, you become part soap maker, part bartender, part therapist, and part keeper of wonderfully strange human stories.
My job was never just handing someone a bar of soap.
It was listening.
Sometimes all people really want is for someone to say,
"Yeah...I've heard that before."
"You're not the only one."
If they happened to leave with a bar of handmade soap that made their skin a little happier, well...that was a pretty good day. And if you're wondering which soaps I found myself recommending most often over the years, you can always browse my handmade goat milk soap collection.
Karen's Garden Notes
If you've ever stopped by my booth over the years, thank you.
For trusting me with your stories.
For making me laugh.
For keeping me employed.
And for proving, once and for all...
...that handmade soap should come with a label that says:
"For external use only. Seriously."
